A Neighbors Story – Protect Gay Marriage in Virginia

The fate of gay marriage is in question nationally under the Trump administration, and depending on November’s election, it may come under fire at the state level here in Virginia.

Ten years ago, the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriages in Obergefell v. Hodges. The Justices are now considering a request to reconsider and reverse the legality.

If the Court decides to hear the case and reverse its stance on gay marriage, it may be pushed back to the states, like it was prior to Obergefell.

The Republican candidate for Governor, Winsome Earle-Sears, has been vocal about not supporting gay unions.

Eighty-year-old Bonnie and her wife Rhonda live in the far west end of Henrico County and have fought this battle for decades.

Even though they resided in Illinois at the time, they traveled to Vermont in 2002 for a legally recognized civil union. “There are rights and responsibilities that come together with a legally recognized relationship. And that’s what marriage gives people,” Bonnie says. Their home state of Illinois legalized gay marriage in 2013, and they were then married there a year later. They moved to Virginia in 2016.

Bonnie says the rights that come with being married are important, “Medical decisions was one of the big ones and who gets to make decisions about your life.”

When Trump was elected to a second term in 2024, Bonnie and Rhonda immediately went to see a lawyer. “We made an appointment with our lawyer to rework out trusts and our will, so now we have language that says, ‘these things are still true if this marriage is no longer a legal marriage.”

Now they fear what could happen to the marital status of more than 16,000 couples in Virginia if the federal law is overturned and Sears is elected. Democratic candidate for Governor Abigail Spanberger supports gay marriage. “Show up to vote and vote all the way down the ballot,” Bonnie says. “We need Spanberger, but we also need Ghazala Hashmi [Democratic candidate for Lt. Governor] and Jay Jones [Democratic candidate for Attorney General].”

Bonnie believes this is a pivotal time for Virginia: “The majority of people are fine with it, but it has been whipped up into this whole fear. I think the majority of gay relationships are no different than heterosexual relationships. We do day to day life, we clean our houses, we have jobs, we go to the grocery store, we raise our kids the best we can. We just want to be able to live in the world without fear. With equal rights and responsibilities.”

If she has one message for Virginians, it is to vote. “For all the issues that we’re fighting. I hope that people get to coexist. And people live and let live. You don’t have to think gay marriage is okay for you, my getting to get married doesn’t impact your ability to get married.”